08.16.09
Okay, this one is my husband’s #2 favorite of my stories. I don’t think its really THAT funny, but I’ll share it anyway.
I was about, oh, thirteen, and I decided one day I was going to get in shape. It was raining that day, but I was going to go for a jog. So I put on my sweat suit, including tight hoody like Rocky Balboa, and went outside.
Now, I have always been an introvert and somewhat terrified of people and I thought that venturing outside of our 1-acre chain linked plot and jogging on the road (like normal people) was way too dangerous. So I did the next best thing.
I did laps around the trailer house.
There is really nothing more to say. It is sad and pathetic, and I’m sure drivers by felt very sorry for the poor mentally stifled girl running circles around the trailer.
08.15.09
Okay, I was always picking on my friends. They must have kind of liked it because they’re still my friends! But they got their revenge.
There was this boy that I had a crush on, though I didn’t really know him. You know how it is, if he’s cute you love him? Anyway, in light of my social anxiety disorder, I had my friend call him because I was a big chicken–and it was one of those things that we were pretending that I was oblivious to her phone call to him. He asked if he could see a picture–you know, to make sure I wasn’t a freak of nature.
So I told Michelle & Nicki to leave me at my Grandma’s house and they could go drop off the picture at his house, but they convinced me to go with them and they would just park on the side of the house. Well, we pulled up and I was still nervous about being seen (because that would have looked desperate), so they told me just to lay down in the backseat and they’d cover me up with clothes (my backseat was full of them.)
So I layed on the floor of the car, all covered up, and they took off to his front door to give him a picture. Then I hear them giggling, coming back to the car.
The door flings open. I am laying under a pile of clothes on my car floor in a sort of fetal position, and HE is standing there staring at me like I’m the biggest idiot in the entire world.
And I certainly was.
08.15.09
On my first day of high school–already very intimidating–I was in line at the front office to “check in”. Well, I was wearing a coat and I ALWAYS had pockets full of change. Don’t ask me why, I just did.
So as I’m waiting in line with my friend, Michelle, change keeps falling out of my pocket, and I keep picking it up and putting it back. It’s getting really frustrating, I’m starting to wonder where the hole is in my pocket!
Well, Michelle is looking at my like I’m crazy…and its then that I realize that NOTHING is falling from my pockets. There was a group of Seniors on the balcony dropping pennies on the Freshmen…and I’m frantically picking them up!! When I realized what was going on, I looked up and they started yelling, “Scrounge!”
Now, isn’t that awful??
08.15.09
When I was about 14 and was starting to get “bosoms”, well, my hand-me-down bras didn’t really fit all that well. Half the time they rode up around my neck because there was nothing holding them down!
Anyway, I came home from school one day. My Mom was on the couch, and she did this really neat little trick (we all do it) of pulling the bra out the sleeve. So I decided that not only would I copy the fancy trick, but I would give my mom a show as well. So I pulled the bra out and started whirling it above my head in attempts to make Mom laugh. Well, my trick apparently worked because she started laughing hysterically…not at my pretty dance, but rather the shower of cotton balls I sent whirling around the room.
Yep, I had forgotten that I had “stuffed”, and, in horror, told her that I had JUST put them there to “see what it looked like.”
Sad, sad girl.
08.15.09
Okay, riding the bus in high school is not something that anyone looks forward to. Either you drove, or you had a friend pick you up. That was cool.
Well, before I had my license I, of course, rode the bus. I always hated the first couple days of school for this reason. We lived at an intersection. The school always told me to wait for the bus that came down the highway instead of the side road–wrong.
Well, two years in a row I stood on the side of the highway…the bus would come…and ZOOM…the bus would go. Leaving me there on the side of the busy highway with my school bag, looking like a complete idiot.
So I’d go tell my Mom what happened. She’d call the bus garage and yell at them, then drive me to school. When I got to school the other kids from the bus would make fun of me.
I’m surprised with all of my high school trauma that I came out reasonably sane.